Habit 1 of [[The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People]]

# Summary

Between what happens to you and how you respond lies your freedom to choose. Proactive people take responsibility for their own lives: their behaviour comes from their decisions and values, not from their conditions, moods or other people's treatment of them. Reactive people let circumstances decide for them.

# Key ideas

- **Stimulus and response**: Humans can pause between the two. Self-awareness, imagination, conscience and independent will make that choice possible.
- **Responsibility as "response-ability"**: You are able to choose your response, so you cannot blame circumstances for your behaviour.
- **Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence**: Many things concern you, but you can only act on some of them. Proactive people work on what they can influence, and their influence grows. Reactive people focus on what they cannot change, and their influence shrinks.
- **Language**: Reactive language ("I can't", "I have to", "if only") gives the choice away. Proactive language ("I will", "I choose", "I prefer") keeps it.
- **Commitments**: Making and keeping small promises to yourself and others builds the integrity that proactivity depends on.

# In practice

- Listen for reactive language in your own speech for a day and rephrase it.
- Pick one frustrating problem and sort it: can you control it directly, influence it, or not at all? Act on the first two and let go of the third.
- For 30 days, work only within your Circle of Influence.